Twelve Steps

Posted: July 18, 2011 in Uncategorized
I grew up with a family of alcoholics. It has unfortunately plagued my mother’s side of the family. I have had to accept that is who they are and stop wishing or hoping that they become what I wish they could be. It has definitely shaped who I am today for better and for worse. Through it all, I have had to accept that who I am as an individual is separate from who the alcoholism would dictate that I should be.
I think people believe that the worse part of alcoholism is what it does to the alcoholic, instead I think the brunt of the ill effects are felt on the family members. We tend to mimic the effects of alcohol by either feeling too much or nothing at all. The mind is crazy thing. It does all kinds of things to protect us, especially as children, then we spend our adult lives trying to reverse it all, and to cope with the damage that has been done.
Well if anyone knows me at all, they would know that once I identify an issue I will work very hard to fix it. I can’t rest knowing that I am living a life of mediocrity when excellence is possible. But what I am still struggling with is that not everyone shares my conviction or timeline to change. I have to learn patience and compassion for those that take longer to come around. I find that I am often quickly frustrated with people who can’t just ‘get with my program’. I apologize to them publicly here and now, and hope that I have apologized privately to anyone that has felt the wrath of my frustration.
Life is a process…..a series of cycles. And I think that the purpose is just to learn from earlier cycles and make the next sequence better.
To anyone who may be coming to realize the effects that an alcoholic or substance abuser has had on your life, please take a look at the links below. There are millions who are going through the same things that you are, and there is a process for healing yourself and mending relationships.
Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

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